Protect the children – strengthen the families! It is wonderful that we may live – isn´t it? Did you ever think about that? We like to show you what human life means and why it has to be inviolable again. We are convinced that the protection of life should be a matter of all people. An important precondition of a child-orientated society is the intact family. That is why we are active on the behalf of the importance of the family so that this knowledge is engraved in the public conscience again. We cordially invite you to inform youself by means of our homepage. Sincerely, Johanna Gräfin von Westphalen President of the foundation 06.12.2011 “Me or the kid?” - Abortion is not an answer. “Hello I’m Julia and I am 17 years old. Four days ago I found out that I am pregnant. My mother thinks that an abortion would be the best thing. I am still in training and don’t have the financial means to take care of things. My boyfriend also thinks an abortion would be for the best. He says that he doesn’t feel ready to have a child yet. I also know that it would be the best for all parties. It is just the wrong time for a child. But I already feel a connection to my child. Every time I start thinking about an abortion I start to cry. I feel alone and distressed. How can I kill my own child? I hope that you can somehow help me. How should you decide, with your heart or with your head? Two days after Julia sent this email to Pro Femina a counselor was able to reach her by telephone. “I have to decide to have an abortion or not. I simply don’t know what to do.” The counselor could tell that Julia was crying as she spoke these words. Slowly but surely Julia poured out all her fears and problems, which kept her from sleeping at night. Four days ago her mother had found the package for the pregnancy test and had then taken Julia to the gynecologist who confirmed that she was six weeks pregnant. “I don’t have a minute of peace. My mother wants me to have an abortion because I am in the middle of my training. She says that I will ruin my future. She accuses me of letting it come this far. An hour ago things escalated. The three of us, my mother, Thorsten and me, were sitting together and I mentioned my doubts and fear,” Julia explains embittered, “If they loved me they would care how I feel about the whole situation.” “Would you like to explain to me how they reacted?” the counselor asked. They say I am naïve and that I couldn’t take care of a child.” Julia begins to sob. “Thorsten says I would ruin his life. My mother said it was all my fault that she has worried her way back into stomach troubles. And that I should not make such a fuss because others have had abortions too.” The counselor now tries to change the prospective: “What would have to change, or be done for you to decide, without hesitation, keep your child?” Julia doesn’t take long to think and says, “If Thorsten would hold my hand and say to me ‘We can make it work with the child’ – that would be too good to be true. Or if my mother would believe in me instead of accusing me.” Have you tried to explain to you mother and your friend how much of a strain they are putting on you? That it hurts you and makes you feel all alone?” asked the counselor. “Not really,” Julia answers after a short pause. In detail the two women talk about how Julia could start a productive discussion without having it escalate in the first five minutes. A day later Julia calls back. “It worked. We were able to talk without getting into an argument. Thorsten and my mother now understand that it is not easy for me. They are sorry that I had felt so terrible the last couple of days. We were able to talk everything over again. An abortion would be the best for all of us. Then there won’t be any more problems and everything will be fine.” The young woman seems resolved. “Do you think that your relationship with your mother and your friend will improve with an abortion?” the counselor wants to know. Julia remains silent for a while until she finally answers; “I don’t know, maybe, but only in the short run. Actually I think that in the long run I would not be able to look them in the eye anymore.” Julia is very tired and confused; she asks for time to think and says she will call back later. Four days later Julia calls back; “I have really thought about it. I want to have this child. I am really afraid that one day I will bitterly regret it. You can’t undo an abortion.” Julia tells the counselor what has happened over the last few days. “I can take my final exams half a year later. Since I have told my mother that I am going to have this child and that’s it, I have the feeling that for the first time she really respects and appreciates me. Thorsten has left me, but I still hope that he will get back in touch with me.” “Listening to your heart and deciding for yourself what is the right thing to do, was the correct decision,” encourages Julia’s counselor. “If you need a nanny or financial help please contact us. We are here and are always ready and willing to help.” Julia and her counselor decide to keep in regular contact. The “Yes to Life Foundation” (Stiftung Ja zum Leben) supports Pro Femina counseling which does not hand out an abortion certificate. You will find more news under the category “Topicalities”.